Women: Honey, do you think this story sounds too contrived? Is it is really believable? I think it is, right?
Husband: Bitch, I'm on beer 14 and we got another 200 miles to go, it's in the best interest of us three if you shut the fuck up, and let me listen me listen to the The Strokes.
Women: Ok Honey. I'll just post it. I kind of like the idea of everyone thinking I'm a lying bitch.
Husband: Ok, fuck.
Turns down the volume on the stereo
Husband: Talk to me, what the fuck is up? I turned down The Strokes for this, so you spill gut, or gtfo.
Women: DO YOU THINK THIS BULLSHIT IS BELIEVABLE? COULD A FUCKING BABY SMEAR ITS OWN LIPSTICK ON AND HAVE IT LOOKS LIKE THIS?
Women holds picture of baby with perfect lipstick
Husband: Sure, looks like a kid could do it. Kids color in coloring books all fucking day, what's the fucking difference?
Women: Posted. Done. Who gives a shit if people know it's not true. I honestly don't even give a shit.
Husband: That's pretty gnarly. I think you should know I've been cheating on you.
Women: I know. I saw her take your entire cock in her mouth last night. You looked liked a gay man trying to enjoy sex with a women.
Husband: You are what you eat. So she's a fucking dick. I had a fun time, I didn't know you were watching.
Women: What beer number are you on?
Husband: 19
Women: And you still feel it's ok to drive your wife and kid? It's unbelievable that you are ok with this.
Husband: Shut the fucking up, shut your fucking ass up. I'm a good man, a good father, a provider for his community.
Husband drives car into old lady crossing the street, and drives off
Husband: Fucking bitch came out of nowhere! I ain't going down for some stupid ass shit like that.
Women: You are an evil man.