okay so i guess this is more of a funny story than anything but uh, i daydream a LOT, and after years and years and yearss of daysdreams getting progressively more complicated, the character who started out as "me" turned into uh. definitely NOT me. but still half self insert? or. idealized self. i dont know. whatever. but anyway, due to some Weird Ass mental gymnastics, this character turned into a trans girl, when i am AFAB and transmasc?? i guess it sorta happened because the weird mashing of:

• "god, i wish i was just a cute tiny hyperfeminine girl who felt comfortable in her body and didnt want to chop her tits off the first chance she got, it would be so much easier to be a Cis Girl like im supposed to be"

PLUS

• "god, im trans arnt i? yeah i probably fucking am. but wait what if im not. im probably not. but wait what if i am?? no. nah. im just a really ethusiastic ally. thats it im sure."

PLUS MAYBE A LITTLE

• "i mostly like girls more than guys and would probably feel a lot more comfortable dating a trans girl than a cis girl? and i guess im just more attracted to trans people in general?"

which all = the self insert daydream char for me, a AFAB transmasc person, who i am extremely attatched to and think about almost every day, being a trans girl. i dont know, my brain is weird and it resists any and all attempts to change the (extremely set in stone) storyline for a more appropriate half self insert.

which i guess would be weird enough, if i didnt also fucking decide after reading an (honestly pretty bad) fanfic one day that she is a cat girl. no other reason, i just used the logic in the fanfic to excuse the fact that catgirls are cute and i wanted cute daydream char to be catgirl. and then i worked it into actually being a pretty major part of the storyline. her being a trans catgirl. so the punchline is, for at least probably 6 years now the weird backwards nega self insert character ive been daydreaming about constantly, every single goddamn day, was a trans catgirl the whole goddamn time, in spite of the fact that i only found out about trans catgirls being a Thing like 4 weeks ago. lol.