And anyways-Just wanted to vent a little. She married a guy who's dad is ambitious and successful-but i guess criticized him-so he developed this whole "anti-money-anti career mindset". He has a college degree but just works part-time at a bar then spends the money on going out to bars and being in a band and comic books. I think my sister thought once he had kids of his own he would change- but he just says "You know what I was like when you married me!" They have a money pit house that he likes to hire his friends for jobs who charge twice as much. He has a huge circle of friends and social life-she has pretty much no time or energy for or any social support. She is constantly under incredible stress for figuring out bills & mortgage. She was a passenger in a roll over accident and then also from the stress developed epilepsy. She got on medication for it-but it might have contributed to their second child to have learning and behavioral disabilities that she feel she needs to spend huge fraction of their budget on specialized education for-(I think it is a huge waste of money & should just save up to help the child with apartment and vocational training in the future). Even though she is on medication for it- she has a driving phobia that she will have an attack while driving so pretty much walks or is dependent on her husband for drives anywhere. He is a great guy nice-can't say he was ever a jerk to me-but he does often go out & socialize & spend money & doesn't invite her. Luckily, she did achieve higher education and has a fairly good paying career but the bad thing is it is on a yearly contract basis that she is constantly stressing about getting the next job every single year! I think the fact she is under such stress contributes to some of her health problems, and she can't rely upon her husband at all to have a break or let up. The funny thing also- I think her husaband's easy going attitude comes from his half is fairly wealthy-but his "pride" he won't accept getting any furniture or help from his dad-of course not- but he feels ok dumping it all on his wife! It's just so riduculous! And her side (my family) have a couple of fuck-ups- and financial stability so she is always worried and trying to provide financial help to US! (sorry sis!). I didn't complete any higher education-so never felt I could afford a family or relationships myself-so I avoid them-but also am not really in a position to help her- & with my family feel stuck in the middle of stuff & a lot of stress to- due to others actions & decisions in the family. I just wanted to vent- knowing this is anonymous.