I live in my brother's shadow

You need to forget this completely. All of it. It seems you have a great brother whom cares for you, and you should look at him as your brother, not as your better man or the start athlete. Just your older, loving brother.

You have skills and gifts of your own, explore them if you haven't yet, and train them. Everybody is different and special. You are too, learn to appreciate and value your skills and gifts. Embrace them.

You spent a lot of time talking about how your brother gets more attention from people and girls. I think you should not fret about this at all. You said you are introverted and shy, I'm as well so I know that social interaction tires our kind. I know how it costs effort to us.

Now do you really want to spend away that effort and time on people who are so shallow that they just want to befriend or even bed your brother for his fame? I know I wouldn't want that. You also said something about your brother sleeping with beautiful women every night, is that really what you want? That are empty things, they are fun as long as they last, but then the fun is gone. Vague memories at best. Forgotten nights most of the time.

I don't think that these are things that you want, if you are like me, you just want your place in the world, to know where you stand, and to have some people that care for you and love you; And you already have that! You seem to have a loving family. Cherish that, cherish your brother and his success, and be there to support him when he needs it. To carry the burden of such fame can be hard at times (eg loads of shallow people).

You should start to look for friends (and love) else where I think, because you mentioned the using you as a step up to your brother. Don't tell them he is your brother at first, start looking for people that care for the same things as you, maybe unrelated to basketball?

I know a lot of cool fun girls who wouldn't use a guy as a step up to some basketball player brother. They might not be 10/10's, if that is what you are after, but they are all beautiful women. The thing with beauty is, you just need to learn to see it and appreciate it. When you do that, when you throw off that perverted, populist cloak of a high schooler/ college kid off of you, You'll see that there are plenty more attractive women then you first though. You need to learn to appreciate the imperfections that somebody has, because in the end what is perfection? It is just imperfection in the right place and time.

/r/offmychest Thread