Liz, I don't know how to break this to you, but you aren't a Republican today. And it's not me that's saying it.

The people who get to determine what it means to be a Republican are Republicans. And they threw you out of the House leadership, then voters threw you out of your House seat altogether. The people who have the power to define what it means to be a Republican have spoken. It's already done. Over. Pau.

What you're doing now is facing the trauma this has caused you. You're at the step known as 'bargaining.' And it's a bad bargain at that. Even if Trump doesn't run, DeSantis is hardly any better, and arguably is much worse.

When you hit the point known as 'acceptance,' you might be ready to start over. There are people (unclear how many) who have a more traditional view of what it means to be a Republican: Limited government, strong national defense, blah blah blah. People who recognize that Trump is a liar and a conman, but feel forced to embrace him to maintain party unity, get donations, motivate the base, etc.

Feel free to find a group of those people and try to accomplish something together. But you aren't going to be Republicans anymore. Yes, it sucks that they get to keep the brand that has the name recognition and history. And odds are good that the most you can hope for is to fracture the party, denying its national ambitions and surrendering power to the Democrats until things re-align.

But whatever you're going to do, you need to let go of any remaining illusions that you are a Republican. To be a Republican today means accepting Trump, and that's something you just can't do.

The party is broken and can only be fixed by people within the party. And as hard as it might be for a life-long Republican to accept, that's not you anymore.