I feel broken for not being able to force myself to have ever accepted a sexless relationship. It's like I would get so close to accepting it, and then I'd just get so anxious about it and the depression and sadness and neediness would come back in full force. I feel like it's just so important to me to feel wanted but yet it didn't matter how much discussion we had, how much I changed or supported him, how much I did anything or didn't do anything. I wish I could find acceptance for this stuff as I feel like I'm constantly fighting a debate in my head. And of course I deal with it alone because he had stopped engaging with me during those times long ago, telling me that I just don't understand and that since I don't think he can change anyway then what's the point. It's just so overwhelming. I feel so immature and childish for not being able to just let go.