Looking to chat with someone in a similar situation. I’m the SO in the relationship with someone who’s been diagnosed with ED. While I want to be supportive, I just can’t get it out of my head that the “problem” may be with ME…. there is a story that goes along with these thoughts and feelings….

43 yrs old Happens often, almost every time unless he takes the pills prescribed by doc Diagnosis October of 2019 when he revealed to me that he wanted to explore swinging bc our sex life was less than and our marriage was struggling He is a tobacco smoker, won’t even try to quit even though I’ve begged him to try knowing it may help. According to doc and blood work done, he’s primarily healthy, not overweight. I know he suffers from some anxiety and depression, the ED issue has made it worse, but he won’t explore meds or counseling.

I think the reason I’m having such a hard time with all of this is bc before the swinging fantasy was brought up I didn’t know there was an issue, he says there was but it was never noticeable to me. I tried really hard to get on board with the idea but I have zero interest in swapping or swinging, it actually broke my heart and completely changed my entire life view on marriage, love and intimacy. When I was entertaining the idea, he was super into me, sex was the best we had ever had, until I finally shut it down and told him no, after that the ED seemed to really get worse. It FEELS like he is bored with me, like I don’t excite him anymore & the only way to get that passion back would be to agree to do something I’m not okay with. Just confused and hurt and don’t know what to do.

/r/erectiledysfunction Thread