I don't agree. This is a portrait of a man who has spent his Entire Life, all his best years, all his energy, all his skill to take care of his family. If he never had the opportunity to have a close relationship with his parents, and money/caretaking was what he learned that love is, then this guy has spent decades providing love and caring for his family in the only way he knows how. Imagine sacrificing and working your entire life - giving love in the only way you know how, only to have the very people you devoted your life to turn around and make you the but of jokes. Many men prefer to be respected than liked: this man has given his all to get neither.

If his son sees himself in his dad, and sees that his dad is declining and that his time left is limited, taking the "you made your bed now lie in it" is missing one of the most important opportunities he might ever get. Sure, he could wait until his dad dies then regret everythning that wasn't said an everything that wasn't done, but he's specifically here asking advice from "older" men on how to reach the dad he wants to have. And from the caring attitude and willingness to see through his dad's interactional style, he may well be able to create a relationship that will be deep and meaningful them both. His dad never gave up on him: now he doesn't want to give up on his dad. "Tough Shit, old man" is throwing away something potentially magnificent.

I say this from experience. My dad was all business (military), uncomfortable with feelings, and used money to show love. As I got older, I started seeing that what I had understood to be distancing (trying to buy off my presence as a nuisance), he was offering love in the only way he knew how. He's still alive, and I have a close, loving relationship with him now because I did two things:

1) I saw past his words and actions, and really understood what he was trying to do. He wants to love and be loved just as much as anyone else in the family: not mocked for all years he spent trying to take care of us, and 2) I made him spend time with me. If he wanted to talk about business, we talked about business: that's what he was comfortable with. If he wanted to ask me about my future, I'd ask his advice - and he acted like I'd given him a christmas present. I made him come with me when I went on errands, sat quietly next to him at home and showed him funny things on the internet. We slowly started making memories together because we spent time with each other (never processing feelings or talking about wanting more from him: I just appreciated the time I had with him and made him feel like I thought he was important and respected what he had to say).

To this day we don't talk about a bunch of things: we disagree politically, religion, etc. but we spend time with each other, laugh with each other, and the love underneath is understood. When he passes, I'll feel like I was given a gift that I worked hard to earn. This man deserves better than to be thrown away.