"Looking at Theresa May and the UK government's stance on porn, the internet, and general technology, I thought I'd write a short story."

In case it gets removed

"Ha, what, I..." I was awake. Fuck, where the fuck am I and, holy shit why can't I move. I remember the crash, falling off the bridge into the river and everything just, well, switching to this very moment. Am I paralysed? Oh fuck I am paralysed aren't I?

"Hello Ms Anderson" said a voice. Where the fuck did that even come from. "Who's there? Can you move into my line of sight?" A medical looking person moved into my line of sight. "I see your cameras are working, we didn't think they would" he said. "My name is Dr Stone." "Back up, Cameras, you mean eyes, right, I'm just paralysed and..." "No, you're not paralysed, Ms Anderson, you are now a machine" he stated coldly, as if he had said it 20 times before. "Don't believe me? Have a look for yourself." He picked up a mirror to my face and, well, I didn't see my face. I saw a kinect-like bar with dual cameras. What the fuck.

"What happened to me" I asked, trying to stay calm, but frankly not doing well in that department. "Well you died" he said, "and frankly you are dead, some on the outside may foolishly call you alive because you are sentient and sapient but frankly I don't care about that PC bullshit. You are hardware and you are property, if you don't like that then you shouldn't have crashed your car." What the fuck. "I am not fucking property" I screamed. The doctor tapped something on his tablet and I felt the most intense pain I have ever felt. "Legally you are property and you are not human. Humans have bodies, you do not, and if you disagree with me or disrespect your master again, you will feel more intense pain than that." He leaned in so I could see his mouth, "You are like a cow, sure a cow might be sentient, but I can still eat it. As far as the House of Commons and House of Worthies care, you are an object. Everyone thinks you are an object and those who don't are either dead or in prison, you are a machine with a purpose of service to us, do you understand?" I wasn't going to let myself go through that pain again.

"Now" the fine, upstanding Doctor said, "I guess it's time I told you your purpose." Tapping on his laptop, somehow I was given, well, knowledge. Not like as a book, just, poof, knowledge.

I was a web filter. A media filter. It turns out the only way to have 100% effective filter on the internet and the like was to use a sentient, sapient AI. I was to basically block all thing that the government didn't like. Certain Political ideas like Scottish autonomy, criticism of the government, sympathy for the poor, the disabled, AI...oh God there were others like me. I was also to block porn. All porn, no matter what, as well as other pieces of media that the government didn't like. I was the ultimate child lock.

"And now I know what you are thinking," said the Doctor "this time, perhaps figuratively, but none the less: how will we stop a sentient, sapient being from rebelling. Well other than the immense pain we can cause you, we also have...other, measures." And with a tap of a tablet I felt my mind go weird. I was in two thoughts, literally. One side disagreed, the other side agreed. My thinking brain, the part that was me, was still there, but as an observer as another part of me, a part that only existed as imagining if someone I disagreed with got their way was in control. They were in control of my actions, I on the other hand was an observer in my own mind. "I hope we don't have any trouble with you, Web filter" said the Doctor. "Now get to work."

I am a web filter.

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