Well, I can't help very much, but I can try.

The first thing is, it's entirely possible for you or I to be physically and/or emotionally attracted to both males and females. Well, that's identifying as a bisexual, which may be what you are feeling now. You may always feel attracted to those people, or you may find that, as time passes, you're only attracted to certain sexes/genders. It's important not to hate yourself or be angry for not knowing for sure.

You mentioned that you are questioning whether or not you are asexual. Personally, (and this is just my opinion), I think you are just not able to really enjoy or "get into" a sexual relationship right now. I think a lot of that has to do with the sexual and emotional abuse you went through. That kind of thing tends to make any kind of physical closeness feel terrifying or just outright numb (feeling nothing at all during physical intimacy, no pleasure and no pain). Because of that, I wouldn't all yourself asexual just yet--I'd give it more time, because the problem of not enjoying sex or romance with either guys or girls might be that you're still affected by that trauma, and it may go away or change if you can find some closure and understanding and peace via a therapist, friends, and things like that.

To tell you the truth, I don't know that you should really "pick" which sexual orientation or attractions you feel yet (in other words, call yourself bi or les or trans as if it's an absolute fact that will always be true.) I think, before you can really get to what you truly feel, before you can really understand what you enjoy and what you don't romantially, you would be a lot more okay if you worked through all that abuse and rape, either with a therapist or some other method.

I don't mean you have to work through it to know what you want, but I think it will be a lot easier to decide what you like and don't like when you don't have such intense PTSD. A lot of people who were physically, emotionally, or sexually abused find their gender orientation or partner choices get switched around after the abuse has settled into your mind.

you said on the other post as well you might be a "dude brain in a chick body." If that's the case, it doesn't make you messed up at all. It means your a female by biology who identifies with male societal roles (or something like that i think).

your boyfriend sounds like a jerk for telling people a private story told in confidence like that, and your mom isn't helping either