New to posting here, so take my answers with a grain of salt.
I was given to several different predilections that I enjoyed, that might not be suitable for polite conversations. (Read; Fetishes) Yet I knew eventually I would have to come out to my family with the news that I was kinky. This was coupled with the news that I wasn't Christan. Nor did I enjoy pretty much anything they did. I had grown apart from them over the years and slowly began realizing that these people around me weren't family by any definition that I recognized, save for my parents. Parents and I have always had a rocky relationship, but I wouldn't say my upbringing was terrible... just misguided. Nevertheless to make a long story short, I resolved to myself to tell them all of these things and get it out there. I waited until I was financially independent and dropped the bomb. What it came down to in the end was something along the lines of "Look, you raised me and I appreciate that, however at the end of the day I am Kinky, Heathen and don't like ANY of the other people you consider family. So you have a choice to make. You can love me as your son and even though you might not agree with my decisions, you can support me as the intelligent child you raised me to be, or you can fuck off. And that was it. I left the ball in their court and was prepared to answer ANY questions they might have had. My parents and I now have a better relationship than we have ever had when I was growing up and I am glad to see they finally understand that the world is no longer the tiny little box they tried to push it into.
That out of the way, you sound like you are looking for validation that this new path you have chosen to walk is the right one. It's understandable if that is the case, I know I have done some serious soul searching and introspection at certain points in my life. I don't think you are going to find much sympathy for your plight however.
One of the core 'beliefs' if you want to call them that, is that you have to stand by your actions, standing strong individually so you can contribute to your kin. The thought process being that if you can individually be an accomplished and ever growing person than you are contributing to the survival and well-being of those around you.
Despite having lost what you might have seen as kin, I would posit that your wife's relationship wasn't founded so much on the people involved, as much as aspects about those people that were found appealing at the time. (Things such as religion, income, appearance and the like.) Unfortunately this doesn't create a stable bedrock for a lasting relationship and when people see the foundations slipping (Most of the time this awareness is only in the unconscious) they turn to children in the hopes of gluing up the cracks with something to make it last. ("If not for us, then for the kids!") Far be it for me to say anything about a woman I don't know, or your parents whom I have never met, but you are the one asking on the internet for advice so here it is...
If they couldn't handle your decision as a grown ass-man, they probably weren't very good influences in your life to begin with. They might not agree with your decision, they might hate your decision, but to disown you, to divorce you, to piss and moan and hold your children for ransom? Are those the traits an honorable man, or woman for that matter, would want to exhibit? Is that something you would be ok with doing to another whom you truly love?
It hurts now as every parting with a person from our past does, especially if we care about them, But the end remains the same. Time heals and if you are to search for your own kin, where you feel you belong with people of your choosing, you need to get right with yourself. You chose your path. You need to walk it.