Hey what do you mean you havent gone far enough at 30? you dont have to prove yourself to anybody. Who cares how much farther other people the same age as you have has gotten you dont know the course of their life and they dont know yours. They can assume but they dont know you and they sure as hell do not walk in your shoes. So never feel like you haven't done enough or your not where society says you should be. Every day is a new one and you can make of it anything you want the only person you need to compete with is yourself.

You finished college already that's awesome many people haven't even accomplished something like that you should feel proud.

So you lost your job trust me you aren't the only one. And no you are not pathetic you are just hurting inside everybody hurts but if you keep it inside you will never feel better. Keeping it in may seem strong but all its doing is building the problem you can let it out.

Sometimes a good paying job is not what makes yo happy in life there is a balance. I know society pressures you into feeling you have to have a certain level of personal accomplishment or achievement but not everyone goes through the same things in life so i think everyone's story is different.

Hmm i think you feel like a failure because your comparing yourself and your level of success with other peoples. You are you and that's all you can be.

I kinda think i use to do that and sometimes it made me feel inferior to other people who have accomplished so much more than me. I would think wow they did all that and i haven't done anything to feel super proud of yet. I realised that i was trying to do good to feel like I was on the level of everyone around me to show that i was just as good.

Thats an empty feeling i had family tell me i would never be anything and college would be a waste of my time because i wouldnt be able to do it anyways. I tried to prove them wrong but failed so felt bad. I realized i never wanted to do that though i was so hell bent on proving them wrong i was working towards something i really didnt even want.

All I ever wanted was to achive one thing I could look at and be like wow i did that and be proud of it and I found that something and it has brought me so much happiness and im very excited because i think i can do it.

You from what you posted sounds like you feel like your not where you should be. Who says where you should be? You could be a billionares some people would still judge you as lazy and entitled you could be poor and called the same. People can always say you have not done enough what do you personally want to do that can make you satisfied with yourself. Im not talking about something you can do that will impress others what is one thing you can do for yourself that will make you proud?

You already have chosen not to throw your life away and you beat suicide I think that alone is pretty amazing. I also ready your lonely maybe you can try meeting people who understand you.

You can message me if you ever want to chat but dont give up and dont feel as though your not enough because you haven't done as much as others. All you can ever give is "your best".

your in a rut now and you feel like crap but you'll see your way out of it I know you can good luck and were here if u ever want 2 chat.