I love being black!

Nah, you were clear and easily understandable...that was just some archetypal white guilt shining through. This is just one of many ways it is manifested, but they all seem to involve ignorance, denial, and an attempt to discredit and invalidate the reality of those affected. It can be so ingrained, reinforced, and automatic that, combined with the aforementioned ignorance, it can sometimes be really difficult to even identify in oneself, let alone shed. As with most of life's complexities and challenges, denial and avoidance is just much more convenient. At the bottom line there is a question: do I fundamentally give a shit about other people and how they are treated, and how much of my own comfort and self-assurance am I willing to sacrifice along the way to have a positive net effect?

Now I know hardly anything about your life and what it's like to be you on a day-to-day basis, but I do presume that you don't exist in a vacuum so it seems pretty self-centered to me to insist that you act as though the world today is some egalitarian utopia where your physical features don't color your experience, just because you can vote, can't be legally owned, and are allowed to use the same water fountain as someone like myself.

I am certainly thankful that you and I don't live in a time where those things aren't truths. I also consciously try to have whatever tiny, positive effect that I can, just by paying equal consideration and respect to everyone I cross paths with in my everyday life. Conversely I'm also as fallible as everyone else and am therefore prone to periodic disconnects between my principles and my thoughts and feelings. When this does happen I at least try to dissect and reason about why I feel a certain way so that I can gain understanding, and with that hopefully remove a little bit of the poison from my brain. This seems a lot more useful than denying away my biases when they surface, even though it's an uncomfortable process with incremental gains that don't always stick on the first go, but for me, it's personally important and well worth the bother.

Black culture has personally shaped and enriched my life so incredibly much -- I would certainly be unrecognizable without it. And yet, year after year, decade after decade, century after century, the very people who have given and continue to give so much to this country have to work just that much harder, put up with just that much more bullshit, and fight for what they deserve or want in life just that much more...all because of a handful of insignificant, completely superficial genetic differences. And then, if you have the gall to express some pride and a positive self-image on a non-black-centric website, you get preached at about how you're actually being divisive by even bringing up the topic of race and how it taints your experience -- because some white dudes with their heads up their asses don't want to have to feel a little bad for all of 5 minutes because they know they don't actually give a shit.

Racism didn't die along with the abolishment of slavery, it's just gotten a lot less overt and a lot more subtle and insidious. I have been acquainted with many people who think nothing of shaking the hand of a black person they like and having warm, jovial chat, and then later in white company slinging "nigger this and that" while recounting an interaction with one that they don't. When challenged you invariably get the argument of how there's an obvious and objective line to be drawn between the ones who are a-ok and the ones who deserve slurs and derogatory comments (but not to their faces of course, because "I'm not a racist!"). It's really gross.

Discrimination against and subjugation of humans by other humans is a bit of a recurring theme I'd say, and sweeping it under the rug hasn't exactly had a positive impact yet as far as I can tell. Humans will never be perfect in our dealings with each other, but if we can all be a little more honest, vigilant, and empathetic in our interactions it can only bring us closer.

I'm glad you love yourself; black skin, hair, lips, and all.

I love you too.

/r/self Thread Parent