I don't know about love, but I know I really like her. I was diagnosed with a pair of pretty bad heart conditions this summer, and I've been trying to just hang on as best I could, especially to my weight. So far I've been sorta successful, and I have managed to avoid any pains in my chest due to strenuous exercise.
And theeeeeeen I met her.
She is the only person on Earth who can make my heart burn from six miles away. We talk everyday, and I have definitely made it clear that I'm interested. I gave her a bouquet of flowers and a teddy bear on Valentine's day, and I have tried to make it obvious that I'm interested.
On top of that, she has reunited me with one of my closest friends, and has helped me diffuse a situation with another friend. In the relatively short time I have known her, she really has made a huge impression.
She's an absolute genius too. I mean I make fun of her for her grammar errors in texts sometimes, but she really is one of the most intelligent, witty individuals I have ever met in my entire life.
She is drop-dead gorgeous, and I'm not sure if she knows it or not. She is just absolutely beautiful, and everytime I see her I notice something new about her. The way she smiles or just looks at you. I know that emotions generally mess with your heart and all, but I can barely stand to look at her without feeling pain. When she says something sweet I feel like my heart is going to explode.
And I HATE IT. I absolutely hate it. It is the worst feeling on Earth, and I am just angry constantly because of it. Before I met her, I was in good terms with my heart. It didn't bother me as much. But when I met her and I started liking her I immediately felt weak again. I can run for miles, climb mountains, lift weights like a mad-man, and swim for hours, yet I can't do so much as look at her without hurting. It makes me feel so weak and terrible and I just don't want to be around her but I keep being reeled in. It's like I have all the intentions to just forget about her and give up, but then I get thinking and I just can't help but want to be with her.
You wanna know the kicker? At this point, I don't even care if she likes me back. I don't even care if we start dating. My life is already probably gonna be shorter than it should be, and all I wanna do is spend as much time with her as I possibly can. It's like when one of your favorite shows goes on Netflix, and you just wanna stay up and watch it until you can't keep your eyes open anymore. I just want to be around her.
It's actually kinda funny now that I think back on it. She played a pretty mean joke on me the other day (which is weird because I'm usually the one who plays mean jokes) and it just absolutely killed me. Seriously I ended up just running out of energy and passing out for 15 hours.
But when I woke up, no matter how I felt I knew she was kidding and I just can't stop thinking about her. In the end, all the pain is kinda worth it. I don't know if this is love or not, but if love hurts, then this definitely hurts.