He did come from living with parents after some misfortune. Prior to his parents he had his own apartment with his ex and a rotation of people. I feel like he might have been more in my position in the latter, you know, doing the "mom"-ing. But, with his parents his mom did the same thing that I do where she nags and then gets pissed and just does it herself.
I'm not a neat freak, I don't need perfection. I came from something of a perfectionist mother who got really angry if the house wasn't clean to her standards and sometimes I actually didn't register what she thought was still messy so I kind of get the other side of it too, not to the extent though. But, yes, things don't magically get done. I've tried asking him kindly, nagging and just leaving it alone but that last one gets to be too much after a bit because, as previously stated, the apartment just isn't that big.
My BF and I also both work full time but I do all of the shopping (from my account) unless I think of something random and say "Hey can you get this?". That actually doesn't bother me that much as I do make more. I do the dishes/kitchen, do 90% of the cooking (different schedules, I'm 8-5, he's variable, so the cooking also doesn't bother me), he's ass at doing laundry so usually I do that but it's mostly my stuff anyways. With prodding, he will take out the glass (I can't stand the sound), help with the garbage/recycling, clean the bathroom and vacuum. But seeing as my things like cooking and the kitchen need to be done every day or every other day and his are once or twice a month (and the need to prod) I don't feel like it's as balanced as that might appear.
I feel like we're the type that might benefit from a joint account honestly but we're not to that point in our lives yet.
I do feel like, at his core, yes he does respect me. The grand majority of the time (I'd say 80-85%) things go swimmingly, we make each other laugh, love each other and genuinely "get" each other but I do always feel a little bitter about my perceived lack of help around the house.