Read through the comments and didn’t see mention of the Spotlight Effect. Worth checking out and helped me realize that the internal paranoid voice I have is 1) not an artifact of me being crazy and 2) likely over-exaggerated

I used to be part of a percussion group that’d perform at festivals and concerts and I always thought people noticed every little mistake I made during rehearsals and performances. Some of the mistakes were big and worth addressing but some of the small mental lapses probably went unnoticed by audience members. Weird thing was when I noticed another member mess up, I noticed but wanted to help them either get back on beat or move on. I never noticed it just so I could rub it into their face after a song. Unfortunately the spotlight effect overwhelmed me and I couldn’t realize that people are more focused on their own parts and barely have the mental bandwidth to worry about my mistakes.