INB4 alcohol and "feel the music"
First things first: Awkward elephants dance beautifully.
When somebody tells you to feel the music, they're actually right -- but it's meaningless until you know what music feels like. So let's start off by seeing if we can find the music in the first place.
I'm about to say some shit that is probably technically inaccurate -- but it's all true enough for our purposes.
Dancing predates language. And the first music was very likely some variant of the drum. So these cave people were banging on drums and finding shit that sounded good to them and some of the other folk started to shake their moneymakers...
Now, I want you to sit down for this first part -- and find ABC by the Jackson 5. Specifically that song. Stay seated and start it playing -- and see if you can find the piano with the very base of your spine. And when the drum starts, see if you can find the conversation between the piano, drum and bass with your butt.
Of course none of what I just said makes any damn sense -- because you understand language with a very new wrinkly brain -- and you've got to find the music with that very old brain at the top of your spinal column. That old brain don't know shit about language or logic -- but it knows how to shake your tail feather to a rolling rhythm.
Alright. Now start ABC over again and see what happens when you let that old brain find the groove. Don't think. Just try to find the sound using just the area between the base of your spine and your knees.
And once you've found ABC, let's see if we can find some Ike and Tina. Search the internet and find River Deep, Mountain High and start it playing. Stay in your seat and see if you can find the fetal form of the groove before Tina starts singing. It's there from the very start. Can you find it with the base of your spine?
If so, go ahead and let that old brain move your butt to the groove of the piano, drum and bass -- and use your new wrinkly brain to listen to the story Tina's telling. It's ok if you find yourself smiling -- that's the whole point.
River Deep, Mountain High btw, should have been on that gold record they sent into space because that is what our species should be most proud of. And I for one, wanted to have Tina Turner's babies well into her 60s. But I digress...
Ok, so now let's see if we can find Billie Jean by Michael Jackson. Start it playing and see if the part of your body that hears it is only limited to your pelvis (it isn't). Go ahead and let your two brains run in parallel -- listening to the story with the new wrinkly one while letting the shiny old one shake your bones and bounce on your butt muscles.
It's ok. Nobody's watching. And even if they were, they'd just think you were having a good time. And the world loves a motherfucker having a good time.
Chances are, you found it easy to find Billie Jean so let's switch to something a little more challenging. Let's see if we can find Graceland, by Paul Simon.
You know the drill -- start it playing but don't leave your seat.
This one's more subtle than the others. Can you find it with that old shiny brain? Great story, too. And when you've finished finding Graceland -- go ahead and listen to I Know What I Know from the same album. Make a mental note of what these two songs mean to you today -- and if you remember to do so, listen to them again in 20 years.
That album came out when I was 20 and it was just a bunch of goofy but fun songs. Then when I was 40, I heard I Know What I Know again and holy fuck -- it's actually kinda deep in a way you truly won't get until you yourself are 40.
Ok, we're almost done. Your last song is Yonder Mountain String Band's rendition of Girlfriend is Better -- it's a Talking Heads cover. Oh, and you can get up out of your chair if you like.
So now when you find yourself in public and that old shiny brain starts trying to shake your moneymaker -- eh, maybe let it have a little fun.
hth