i also had once a toxic bullshit friends. actually i might have trust issues as a result, backstabbing people.

but i hung out with them becuase i was a loner and to be honest being alone is better than the shit i put up with.

story:

when i was in highschool i wasn't the best at socializing, so when i started highschool i just hung out with this dude who i knew from middle school and hung out only at lunch and that is about it.

thing is he was toxic and a backstabber,

everytime he had the oportunity to do something to "make me less" and feel superior he would do it.

he knew i didn't have a girlfrend and he always would say comments like "...how many girls have you fucked?.... i mean i was the other day with X and X girl hanging out" and so i didn't respond.

he would always threaten me to beat me up with comments like "...if someone wants to start shit with me i'll destroy them with my speed and fist" then punching the air like a box fighter.

he also made fun of me once, in front of other guys, and called me out because i just arrived and they were talking i guess about girls, but since i am still a virgin to this day, he called me out "....SO Ipumplikeamachine how many girls have you fucked?" then i just stayed quiet and didn't know what to say, at the prolonged silence he just said "aw, what are you going to fuck, you don't even have a girl!" later that day some other dude came over and to my embarrasement he was cool about it, he said "is alright dude you'll get ther eventually, i am also not that experienced with girls" he was an 11th grader and i was a 9th grader at the time.

I hated having classes with this dude, i had PE and computer class with him. In PE he always made fun of my athletisism, i'll admit i was fat and wasn't really the active type, but he would call me out hard on it.

he also in the locker rooms, bad choice picking a locker close to "my friends" becauese since i was fat i was ashamed of showeing my belly rolls and manboobs and stretch marks to the guys, so i wore and undershirt, he always was like "...what is the point of an undershirt?" and then i was like " you know is practical for spills"

in computer class, he would always ask me for help right after the teacher gave instructions, on assigments he copied me, and i just let him even though i was uncomfortable as fuck him doing that.

he had this superiority complex and always felt superior in every way to me, there was a point where i actually felt anxious to just be around him. and so i stopped. instead of hanging out with him, i went to the library and "worked on my assigments" when i was just there to let time pass, i was a loner but i felt more calm when i was alone, it wasn't that bad. i just avoided him as much as possible, and it was also a pain having to take the bus with him home, he lived in the same apartment complex i lived on.

anyway fastfoward to 11th grade, i took weights class 10th grade and 1th grade, i drop pounds, and go running eveyday to the gym, now weight training(schoo) and cardio(gym) aren't good things to do in the same day, but i didn't know shit at the time, but i dropped weight, and i started to talk to this other dude i knew from middle school but he was held back or something, he was actually quite cool about things, we played ping pong, shared stories, and mario kart wii, ate pizza, he was very well balanced dude, i mean he was in a football team, and had a social circle outside of me, had a dog, and a brother who he'd talk about basically everything, i heard a call he made once, and their relationship was close as fuck, i could hear it. i was actually jeolous my brothers weren't that supportive.

anyway this fagget, tries to pick on me, and we don't hang out that often anymore, exept for that occasional "what up bro/dude?" and that is about it.

he then once tried to pick on me, but i felt like i grew out of it, and totally identified his manipulation, and i remembered he was asking about a class his sister, who also went to highschool was in, i know cuz i had it with her, and i said "...doesn't your sister know about XX project? why don't you ask her, i bet she'll give you more details on it than i could."...then he just stares back at me on silence.... which to i replied something, can't remember the exact wording, but it was in a cocky matter implying "...look, if your sister doesn't want to help you, or you don't want to ask her, what does that say about you?" i laughed about it while we walked to the apartments.

i could see it in his face the contempt he had towards me when his insults or manipulation schemes didn't work on me anymore. he was always butthurt about it, and there was a point where he was actually tempting me into a fist fight, but i didn't comply, i was close to losing my shit but i didn't even though he was bugging me physically and throwing insults at me.

the point is--if you don't feel comfortable with a person who is your friend, and actually dread seeing that person and hanging out with them, then you should cut them off by the knees, i know it may seem stupid to teenagers since you only seems like your options of friends are limited, but trust me there is so many people you could be rather than "the ones you know". take this from a dude who was a loner, and still is, your perception of the world is not that big, and your life wont end if you end a relationship in highschool, life is a blast but it has to be on your terms, which brings me to my next point.

_set+boundaries.jpeg with everybody! even your close ones, becuause when you don't everyone will test you and see if they can walk over you, and if they can... guess what? they will, so might as well kill it while is young. this is the definition of being a "wimp" you are strong when you have boundaries and endorse them when they are breached. and they can be simple like one i have is "i don't accept screaming from anybody, not even my parents*" (unless its a preventative command to prevent and accident like "WATCH OUT" or something relyant on context... like we are in a heated argument and then i scream and then you scream and eveybody is screaming then we all are apeshit but is justified, somewhat" but to call me to go and eat i don't need a scream for fucks sake!

also i have now boundaries on honest/lying, manipulative/ambigous behaviour. and other things that i think are important in a relationship.

also keep always in mind that if you are not in control of yourself then no one will. you have to understand that you are the only one in control of your behaviour and to say other wise is to handle your free will to that person you blame, take reponsiblity and have liberty on you life.

also to this day, i feel that if i'll ever encounter that S.O.B. i'll look him in the eye and say "how is it going? you FUCKNUGGET!!" i know grudges aren't good, but hey what you gonnado

those are just my two cents i have take it or leave it guys no hard feelings.