I know what went wrong, it's one of those fundamental laws that says "the one with the most power in a relationship is the one who cares the least."
That said, lately I have made her my complete bitch, and it was safe to say up until this point I cared least. I think I broke frame because I was shocked that she expressed that she didn't want to cuddle for the first time in a very, very long time.
She started crying when I told her that she pissed me off by doing this, so I'd say by the end of the conversation I'd made her my bitch again. Which is why I thought it would be a power move to deny her the kiss.
That said, I realize now that my initial outburst was beta bullshit and not passing the shit test.