Thank you for this. I’m working on repairing my relationship with my mother (and also my brother who was most commonly the golden child. To be honest, we were all the golden child when it was convenient for her to belittle one of the other of us). I have blocked her out for a month at a time and decided that’s not truly what I want. However, over the last four weeks or so she’s been making an effort to be better. I’m waiting with baited breath to see if this will stick or if she will fall back into her old ways of manipulation. I talk to my dad a lot about recent experiences I have had with my grandmother that make me realize that my mom is just repeating behavior that my grandmother did to her... the recent experience I had with her is a long drawn out story, but essentially she was manipulating me because I put my kids needs first over her, stating “what I did wasn’t right” and that she talked to several people and they all agree with her. All of a sudden I realized that my mother got the same crap from her mother that she did to me and my siblings. While it doesn’t exonerate her behavior, I have developed a different sense of compassion for my mom... it is a struggle, but it’s getting better—I think.

Anyway, haha sorry for more off topic stuff, but I wanted to reply!