Me: 20, Male Her: 19, Female Length of relationship: 2.5 years Status of relationship: engaged
Back history:
We've been together for about 2.5 years. She was a senior in highschool and it was about a month or two after I graduated and moved out of my parent's house when we started dating. She was 16, I was 18. We met on Twitter, talked for a couple months, and I asked her out when I met her. I was amazed by how much we had in common at the time, and she was so loving so naturally I had to ask her out. Fast forward a couple months, she moves in. She gets a job as a host at a small Mexican restaurant, and I'm a Line Handler for the local ports/docks and refining plants. I'm making a lot of money, she's not. She gets a better job, I get laid off. Can't afford rent and other bills that I paid for, so we move in with her parents. She financially supports me. About a month passes by. Finally find a job for driving dumptrucks in an aggregate yard, but it's 45 minutes away and my car sucks on gas, so I stay with my grandpaw (who lives near the job site) for a couple months.
Demise: During those couple of months in which I was laid off again after the first month, she suggests one day that we should have an open relationship. I figure why not, I get lonely when I'm away for long periods of time, and I'm sure she does too. I tell her we should take our time with it, and lay out the ground rules. Not even a week later, she fucks a coworker and breaks the rule of no oral. Meanwhile I'm scrambling to find someone to fuck, and finally I find someone. Turns out, I was too nervous to get it up. Oh well. I tell her, and she basically has this air to her that says "tough shit" . I cry, tell her how fucked up it is, but remember that I haven't gotten my chance yet. Still proceed with open relationship. Don't end up finding a girl for the next 2 weeks, then she wants to end it. Tell her I didn't get enough time, she didn't care. So we end it. I'm pretty sure she premeditated it, then ended it before I could get a chance. I'm still conflicted by it. It doesn't help that I see her coworker every day at work.
Demise 2: I realize our life goals are different. She wants to become a nurse and stay in school and have a house and kids. I want to have traveling careers and go to school later and experience life to its fullest. She's really closed-minded while I'm very open-minded, an example is that she is so set in her ways while I'm very fluid. I'm an adapter, she's a rock. Also, her intelligence kinda isn't enough for me because we don't have intelligent conversations, we don't play board games together, and she doesn't read any kind of literature other than twitter and the occasional dirty novel.
Demise 3: She shows no interest in my friends. She feels like she doesn't fit in, which is pretty true. But that doesn't mean that she shouldn't make an effort to be included in my friendship circle like I do for her. My friends love her.
Demise 4: We started dating when I became officially independent as a man from school, parents, and responsibilities to my parents. Here I was, in college, looking good, having a great job making money, a vehicle, etc. But my freedom was stifled by my girlfriend.
Demise 5: I want to travel and work. For example I wanna be in the military or a deckhand on a shipping vessel. She won't have any of that. I actually got offered a job as a deckhand on a river cruise ship making about $800 a week for 3 months straight. I explain to her that when I get back, I can get us a better apartment, eliminate some of our debts, and either invest or save the rest. She doesn't care, she just doesn't want me to go. Great, another opportunity passed up.
There's other problems, but they're the minor problems. The entirety of this post was the major problems that I have. What in the world should I do? Keep in mind, I love this woman very much and I don't think I could ever gather the courage to actually break it off by traditional means. I'm just conflicted and need second opinions.
TL;DR Got into premeditated open relationship, we're extremely different in personality and goals, she shows no interest in my friends and doesn't really have friends of her own so she's constantly starving for my attention, started dating at the dawn of my independent adult life, constantly think about breaking up with her but now isn't the best time because my job isn't stable enough and I have no idea what she would do besides cry and guilt trip me.
EDIT: Thanks for your opinions, guys. I've decided that I'll wait until I have a better job and plan to break up with her. Which should be in about 1-3 months. I'm a patient person, so I'll manage. I'll give you guys an update around then.