Hey Op first I think it's awesome you're here because it means you care and things will work out if you both want it too.

I went through this and can give perspective that could maybe help you both. First is the feeling of sex is a huge let down to most virgins. When I lost my virginity I thought it was like someone poking me with a broom stick. I thought it would be like an orgasm the whole time. Or feel great the whole time. Learning my own body took work. That was never explained to me and it wasn't until I slept with my now husband that sex was enjoyable but it was because he cared and helped me learn about things that I liked. It's amazing that you two will get to learn together but only if you BOTH want that will it be amazing. It will take work. But it can be fun goofing around learning new things and no one may even orgasm but the next you might. Make it fun!! Not with the intention to orgasm thats stressful and gives the feeling of needing to perform. My husband would say "Can I try X to see if you like it." As were watching a movie. I said whatever it doesn't matter I'm going to keep watching my movie. Then it became goofy, lots of laughing. sometimes back to the movie and sometimes into sex.

Second, my husband was my bff before we dated. I'm guessing you too have been in a partnership and friendship like relationship for 10years and switching to a sexual relationship is difficult and takes times to change the mental barriers that were there. You may have viewed her sexually this whole time but she may not have been. Things that helped me were doing things that were romantic without the new goal of having sex. Do the stuff you used to do, if it leads to sex awesome if not she may enjoy getting that premarriage feeling again since there was no pressure.