I think I'm going through something similar. I'm currently 22. My mom insisted I had dyscalculia when I was in high school, but I refused to get tested because I was a solid C student in math, and "If it were really a problem, I'd be failing these classes". I just figured I wasn't mathematically-inclined or not hardworking enough. Besides, I was on honor roll for my overall grades, so clearly there isn't an issue.

I got freaked out when a saw an ADHD Bingo Meme on facebook and realized I checked most of the boxes. But, once again, I ignored it and figured that these types of bingo memes are easily relatable. Like Zodiac signs.

It wasn't until just an hour ago that I started to seriously consider I might have ADHD. I got into a huge fight with my SO of 5 years about a longstanding issue. After the initial combativeness, I realized that the issue at hand might be due to my issues with attention. And since this is clearly affecting my relationship on this scale, then it is something I should see someone about.

I took a few online diagnostic tests and started to tear up at all of these things being brought to my attention. Things I struggle with on a daily basis and just feel like I'm too stupid or don't have enough willpower. However, part of me does not want to see someone about this because "ADHD is a made-up illness" and I'm just looking for an excuse to blame my lack of discipline on something.

My mom has bipolar and borderline disorder (though, she doesn't know that I know). So, part of me wants to ask her for help on finding a specialist. But I'm really scared of her blowing me off and thinking I'm being silly.

I don't know this is just a weird experience for me.