If it wasn't clear I was 100% sincere and I believe logical in my approach.

I was in a relationship that took epic amounts of work and sacrafice of my own desires only to find out 5 years in she didn't care, same as this douche who won't go out of his own way to please his wife of ten damn years. It drove me to having no self value etc, very difficult to recover from... just like this lady. And she actually did want a 3rd party addition but he again couldn't fit in.

Also after all that therapy she still isnt happy which probably cost a bomb...

So again I'll say, dumpah kid, dump her fast. I wasted 4 years, do not waste any more, the world is full of awesome people that will return your love.