Why are you centering your self-worth and well-being on other people’s evaluations of you? Why does it matter that your friends are angry, as long as you communicated your needs and boundaries to them respectfully? Yes, sometimes when we do what’s best for us and/or our family, other people feel disappointed or inconvenienced. They’re adults too, so they should be able to manage disappointment in long-term relationships without creating chaos or drama. And if they can’t … then they’re not a real adult or a real friend.

Were your parents emotionally manipulative or something? Did they blame you for their own negative emotions, or make you responsible for managing their moods?