So...

We continued to hang out every day together. We got jobs at the same dealership selling cars and spent pretty much every day and night together. I was in college at the time, and he would even go to classes with me when he didn't have anything else going on just because he just liked being around me. I had never felt that close with anyone before...all ex girlfriends included.

While all of this was happening my mom called me to ask me why I was spending time with this guy, Ryan, so much. She had heard from a few of my other friends that he and I spent every day together, and it must have seemed weird to them considering that Ryan was married, and he slept over at my place more than he slept at his own place with his wife.

My mom told me that if I would be the cause if his divorce if I didn't tell him to stop coming over so much. Sure enough, that night he came over to tell me that he was getting divorced and wanted me to get an apartment with him.

We ended up getting a place together, and that went well for a few weeks. At this point we were still having drunken nights that started out with video games, and ended with us groping each other and making out until we passed out.

Eventually I came to terms with what I was feeling and I wanted to talk about it with him, but sober. I told him that I was falling in love with him, and that this was new to me, and that I must be bisexual. We both grew up extremely religious (Mormon) and it was (and still is) the most taboo thing you can confess about yourself. Being "gay" is the most awful thing you could possibly do or be as a Mormon.

To my disappointment, he told me that while he accepted me and my choices, he could never be gay and had never "struggled" with those feelings. (Sure I thought...as long as you're not drunk, you're straight as an arrow