A dude from my high school died last week. 23 years old, he drowned while kayaking.
We were pretty good pals. Emotionally I didn't get to know him too well but we always got along and would hang out with our group of friends every single time we were back in our hometown on break from uni.
23 years old man. All he was doing was going out and enjoying nature on a long weekend - I do that shit all the time with hiking trips, trail running, ect. and I'm usually alone out there in the woods. Next time it could be me that gets missing and my family that is on the news when they discover my body. Fuck. It doesn't even feel real at this point, and I don't think I will truely accept what happened until I go home and we all get together to hang out and he's not there. He's dead - just like that. This week it is all over Facebook, next week it will be back to the grind and nobody will give a shit anymore, there is nothing anybody can do.
I have never felt more alone, mortal, and adult than right now. This is real life. Parents, teachers, university, emplooyers - nobody can realy protect me. I have to watch out for myself and if I slip up, boom I'm dead and that's that. I'll be a photo on my family's bookcase and maybe have a bench named after me in a park somewhere if I'm lucky. Fuckkk.