For one, acknowledge the fact that you were doing really well right before the pandemic hit and our whole world got flipped upside down. Everyone in some form has been struggling. I can’t fault anyone for having personal setbacks during this time. Looks like you found a way to get those dopamine hits in healthier forms, and the pandemic deprived you of that. We are all only human. Even for those of us who don’t struggle with addiction, this year has been tough. I really feel like giving yourself space to accept that is a positive first step.
Write down why you don’t want to keep those habits, and refrain from phrasing it as negative aspects of yourself. For example, “I don’t want to participate in casual sex because I want to experience a fulfilling relationship.” Be honest with yourself and tailor it to your goals. In this way, you have a conversation with your beast and give yourself clear objectives. Again, we are human and it is so easy for us to falter if we don’t give ourselves a specific target.
Like the other commenter said, find ways to indulge it. What really is at the heart of the impulses? Do you relapse when you’re lonely or bored or stressed? Each motivation is different. I dated someone who turned to pills out of loneliness and low self worth. I dated someone else who turned to drugs and sex for the thrill, and can only keep clean by surrounding himself with meetings and going to shows all the time. For one person, it’s sadness. For another, it’s the need for constant stimulation. Understanding where your tipping point is and working from there is pretty crucial.
Lastly, there is quite a bit of evidence that suggests the best way to rehabilitate someone is to not dive too deep into where it began, but rather start with current motivations and mindfulness techniques. For instance, I went to therapy years ago and my therapist kept insisting on talking about the poor relationship I had with my mother growing up. It is something I made peace with long ago, and only brought it up because she asked. I felt like I was getting nowhere because I was still left with my current stressors that made me seek out therapy in the first place. Sometimes, we don’t need to dig too deep and just need to learn how to be present.