No, it's just that Stefan was a kind of person if he is good he will die for u but once the quota is over or everything went out of limit he will step up and do what is necessary..Elena had that misconception that she can mess with both the boys with humanity (that both brothers love about her) she thought she can have both Stefan and damon..when she was with Stefan she had expectations from damon please Damon be a good man, do it for me please Damon this isn't u...and when she was with damon she had expectations from stefan that this isn't u u r not like this...and here it was necessary for stefan to show Elena that she can't play with his feelings anymore and she can't control him but that doesn't mean he stopped caring about her...damon on the other hand always pretended to be good infront of Elena... always did good stuff because if he won't may be Elena will get upset but the moment she rejects him or breaks up with him he will become that pyschopath again... Damon's actions were always dependent on Elena's reaction and this is not called development when u need a girl to change u it's not a girl's job to change u and then love u ..yess girls surely helped stefan like Lexi did but Stefan's actions were his responsibility he didn't blamed anyone that u broke up with me that's why I killed him or her..he took incharge of his guilt and sins unlike damon who always needed to blame someone for his actions like he blamed Katherine stefan and Elena for his bad deeds