Thanks for your comment! I found a beautiful studio apartment for $1,200 a month but I would not be able to afford that for the school year. So like a few people have suggested, renting a room is probably most ideal.
This is a graduate program - it’s 2 years long. Last year was my first year and it was a very stressful year. The program itself is very demanding and then I have a family that’s very demanding of me. I honestly don’t know how I survived the first year of that program knowing what I went through. Some things I don’t want to talk about on here but my nfamily purposefully caused me stress knowing I was under a lot of stress in my program.
I brought up the idea of taking a year off last year to work and save money before school and my family flipped on me and said that I need to finish school or they’re kicking me out of the house. That time I didn’t have enough savings so I ended up staying. My dad ended up going to jail that year so I had to deal with that stress and my family’s stress around that. Then my mom started going through health issues, which I missed some school for. She was very demanding of me during this time to take care of her. She refused to take medication because she believes doctors are scammers and don’t know what they’re doing - whatever that means. So that was added stress. And my sister went through something that required me to help take care of her as well. I know life happens but my family is very dysfunctional and they bully me and demand a lot from me to the point where I forgot to focus on my needs.
I’m just constantly bullied in the house. My family hates to see it when I show happiness. And my family HATES it when I try to stand up for myself. It’s literally them vs. me every time. I’m exhausted. I want to do well in school and just get my degree, leave and never look back. I’m scared to stay another year because I know my final year of school is going to be difficult and my family is very difficult to live with so I’m scared I might face real burnout and go crazy.
I’ve been literally just laying in my bed the past two months just to rest from all of the stress I had to go through this year. I’m scared I won’t have the mental energy to continue but I keep telling myself I have 1 more year.
On top of everything, my family does not take COVID seriously and does what the want during this time. It’s very stressful for me. I’ve had many conversations with them on how to be careful but they simply don’t get it. They know I’ve formed an anxiety around it, which I believe they caused for me, since they’re being reckless and I think they like that I’m so anxious about it. It’s like they feed off of it.
I’m tired. I’m sad. And I want to leave this hell hole.
I look forward to hearing back from you! Thank you