I’m fairly convinced I will end up committing suicide

hey, thank you for mentioning this. i feel like it’s a part of depression/suicidal ideation that doesn’t get mentioned too often.

i used to live in a psychologically and emotionally abusive home. since getting out of that, ive had time to recover. it’s been about three years. (im only mentioning this for context. i dont mean to flex my situation or anything of that sort)

now, im almost 18, and im getting ready to go off to college. i still find it unbelievable. i used to stay up at night and try to muster the courage to end it. i need to cope with my existence all over again, and i feel strange with every passing birthday of mine.

you may have more tools than you realize. i urge you to tell someone about the way you feel. a while ago, a told a medical professional about everything, and i was involuntarily committed to a mental hospital. there’s a ton of stigma regarding mental institutions, and the experience was really really beneficial to me— although my abusive mother forced me off of treatment afterwards.i was young, so i went to a children’s sector. i don’t know if it’s different for adults. there’s also iops, which are outpatient hospitals, so you wouldnt need to spend the night or anything if youre afraid. but even if these options aren’t ideal for you, please please talk to someone. preferably, someone who can begin the treatment process for you, but any trusted individual may help.

/r/depression Thread