That's interesting. But when we were sexting I never expressed discomfort with things she said that I didn't like. She did no reciprocate. So that was on my mind and when she sent her disapproving message. She was rude and more to the point it was apparent that she wasn't going to afford me the same respect or whatever the word is. It was not fare or balanced. Thinking about right now only makes me more certain I was right and I hope she's fucked emotionally after this. She acted like a cunt and you sound like an asshole with psychobabble. I guess it's okay to let people cross lines on how you like to be treated. Don't therapists teach and preach to their clients all the time to set boundaries about how they want to be treated? Study up fool. A sociopaths or narcissist I am not. Sociopaths don't feel guilty plus they're manipulative. I'm the opposite. I'm actually suspicious of trying to take advantage of me or use me for something they want. I'm a little sensitive in a way. Maybe I interprete things too deeply and get it wrong like this case with this girl but I've been fucked over in the past by people that I wish I had sent messages like to. So now i ha e a trigger finger and I don't ignore those early signs that I'm being disrespected that in the past turned out to true. Plus it's infuriating when you realize that someone is not affording you the same latitude in a relationship you granted them. I might be oversensitive. But I think it's about being fair. If I go see a movie you want to see you should be willing to see one I want to see or extend that to restaurants. This girl was in the wrong. You could say I could have just said bye and faded but I after two months of being nice to her I wanted the equivalent of my apartment security deposit back. Obviously by showing her attention and getting her off dozens of times the balance of transactions favored her. I had made her feel beautiful and desirable. I had a positive impact on her self esteem. Had I just said bye she would have been able to keep that surplus positivity that she no longer deserved because as I explained she did not extend the same deference I had previously extended her. I would have never indulged her fantasies which inherently disagree and treated her as I did if I knew at the time she was going to extend the same latitude to me. So I sent that mean message to restore things to what they would have been had we not met. She's going to go through the opposite emotions of what she felt that first week we met online and things will balance themselves out.
This is how I think. You probably never thought of things like this. But it makes perfect sense. Human interaction is largely transactional in nature. True friendship is rare. Scientists that research love. I'm not going to Google the names but you'll find their studies and writings inline about oxytocin and hormones and proteins. True Love doesn't exist. Love is just a trick of nature to get the species to breed like any other animal. Friendship is just about using each other to mutual benefit. There's no such thing as loyalty. It's all just chemicals in the brain and using. We're just big ants. There's new research showing human civilization is beginning to mirror that of ant colonies so with what we know I don't care to be nice anymore. If you're nice you just get used. I used to run a music sharing blog and most people downloaded and did not even express gratitude. That pissed me off and I closed it. If I'm operating a business you expect to be paid. If you're sharing on rutracker or Wbb or your own blog you view the thank yous as defacto payment. Just like upvotes and karma on Reddit.
It's all transactional. There is no love. There is no God. No after life. We're no better than ants. When you look at all the damage being done to the world by humans, from poach elephants or polluting the ocean with microscopic pieces of plastic I don't see why I should be nice to anyone unless I'm getting or possibly could receive a benefit out of it personally. It all comes down to transactions and for that girl I burned it was time to cash out her register and kick her ass to the curb.