Gaslighting is making somebody doubt their own sanity by denying reality. To gaslight him, she would have to pretend she never made the joke in the first place, and would have to continuously deny reality with the intention of making him doubt himself so he's more malleable and dependent on her. You can say you don't agree with her behaviour, but don't use terminology that you don't fully understand because that's a very serious accusation, and is blatantly untrue.

I wind my partner up the same way all the time, and he winds me up too. It's just a joke, and we are trying to wind each other up, but we are clear that's the intention and find it funny. Sophie wants a fella she can take a slagging, and in turn she can take it too. Connor chose to represent himself in a way that made her believe he was that kind of person, especially when she was getting to know somebody else. We've seen he can take it, as he handled it fine when she was getting know know Connaugh, and imo if you were genuinely sensitive, you'd be more upset if you weren't secure but that's not the case. Which leads me to believe he is a person who wants to feel in full control of a relationship, and pretended to be someone he wasn't to get her to pick him, and when she did, he didn't like her humour because it shows an independent side of her that's not totally submissive to him and his wants.

If you are genuinely hurt by somebody's behaviour, then communicate about it, but he's not willing to have that discussion because he's not open to compromise or understanding her position. Now clearly, I'm not inside his head, I can only speculate based on my own perception but clearly his behaviour crosses a line, whereas most of Sophie's behaviour is either reactive or chalked up to immaturity. Connor needs to work through his insecurities and issues, and I'm sure he's capable of being better, but he needs support and thats not the kind of support available in the villa.