I've been feeling pretty down lately, definitely at rock bottom right now. I'm a 28 year old guy.

Had a bad mental breakdown this past winter, still kind of recovering. Due to a shitty, isolated childhood of neglect, I never learned how to make friends or connect with others. I've never had close or long term friends, and never dated at all.

Found out a month ago that my mom has cancer, and it's not looking hopeful.

I've been feeling very overwhelmed and depressed this summer, and for a couple weeks now I've had an ear infection and can't hear in one ear, feels like another kick in the head that I don't need.

And now I've had pain in my chest for a few days, kinda feels like maybe my lungs, I dunno, need to go to the hospital to get that checked out. With the way my life had gone, at this point I can't help but think it's probably lung cancer or something serious like that, it's just so hard to be facing these things when I'm totally alone, and already dealing with so many different problems right now.

I also work night and day shifts, and often weekends, so I'm not around at normal hours, and haven't really slept more that 4-5 hours in the past couple months, so the sleep deprivation makes everything that much harder.

I'm barely able to function day to day. It's so hard to keep going.

I did recently start seeing a therapist, but it feels like it'll be years to ever possibly get my life together, and maybe start making friendships, or maybe even start dating.

I can't see how I could ever live a happy life, everything feels totally hopeless.

Thanks for listening.