I’m not typically attractive and the world treats me differently.

Oh, I understand that so well. I’m also far from „conventionally“ attractive, very tall, have always been more or less overweight. You might as well be invisible in many situations. When I was in college I became strongly aware of that for the first time. I was friends with two other young women who were both really pretty. People just flocked to them, men and women alike. They had no trouble finding friends, hook ups, dates, the likes. They always had someone around to help them with stuff like classes or moving apartments, always someone to hang out with or go out with. It was a revelation to me. It wasn’t even just a different chapter, me and them, but a completely different book. Of course there’s pretty privilege. I see that all the time, whether it’s at work, at the gym, in normal, daily interactions, or elsewhere. It’s something to acknowledge and accept but I stopped comparing or lamenting that. It’s not a great feeling but it’s also nothing I can change much. You can take care of yourself, be kind to yourself but you can’t change the way you look, unless you choose something drastic. The older I get the more comfortable I become with myself. Or perhaps I care less. I suppose that’s a normal process with age. But I understand how you feel and why. You phrased so perfectly how I felt many times before. I read the post and thought, „yes, exactly! Thank you!“ It sucks sometimes and the plain janes, ugly ducklings, tomboys and not conventionally attractive people should be able to express their feelings without being accused of envy or jealousy. It’s a much more nuanced and complicated feeling than that. I spoke to a friend about something similar lately. She lost a lot of weight and we discussed how she gets compliments now and how men check her out. She didn’t appreciate it and I totally get that. A similar experience - she’s only now „acceptably thin“ for some people. To get back to the pretty girls from college - they had that, yeah, but the more I got to know them, the more I learned that everybody struggles in their own way. One of them had a really fucked up family, the other had a severe eating disorder and self harmed. So while I can acknowledge that they have it easier in some ways I always try to remind myself that everyone has their battles to fight. Dear OP, thanks a lot for that post. Very well said. I do hope you find acceptance for yourself and your thoughts. They are so valid (I don’t mean to sound condescending, I’m just not a native speaker and have trouble expressing myself as well as I could in my own language).

/r/TwoXChromosomes Thread