I’m 16 year old boy who can’t possibly begin to understand what you must be going through. It sounds so complicated and scary and I can’t imagine the anxiety. However, I do know this, I have a nephew who is almost two. He has brought so much joy into my life it is unbelievable. My entire life I’ve struggled with depression, and attempted suicide thinking I was out of options, but this kid gave new meaning to my life. There is something unique and special about a child that you can’t possibly regret. Seeing them grow up and see things you’ve seen for the first time and develop a personality it’s truly one of a kind. To love and be loved by this little person. My sister had a miscarriage for her second kid and that really hurt everyone in our family. Life is so precious and while I understand where you’re coming from, you yourself have said you feel financially and mentally capable of raising this child. You will be a great mother, that I am positive of. Have faith in yourself. Be strong. You’ll soon realize the sheer joy that kid can give you.