You need a support system in place before you leave, and YES it's okay to plan this without telling him. Try to find people you can trust explicitly and that might be able to put you up (provide a room and bed for awhile). Create a plan. Find resources in your area that can help. You can get social assistance in most areas. They'll give you the basics for survival, and they'll often also link you to resources to help you develop skills and to find a job.

You use the term hostile when referring to your husband's treatment of you. This is not a suitable living arrangement for you, and it's not healthy for your children to see that attitude towards you. You need respect and love.

You have a hard choice to make, and it's yours alone. But know that the freedom that might come from it could be the best thing you've experienced in awhile. You're strong and you're worth being happy and respected.