You both agreed if she want sex she should initiate, which means you gave her consented for sex with you and also mean a consent from her to do sex.

But of course she could say no in the middle of sex if she felt uncomfortable speacially at this point of the relationship. And if she felt comfortable enough to start touching you in a sexual way, why she would nit feel comfortable enough to use her mouth and vocal a big NO MORE when you asked. It is not like she was drunk or unconscious.

And not only that you asked because of this dominating and submissive game of yours, if she does not communicate she was not playing the game how the hell you ever would know she stopped to give consent in the middle of the sex? You did not miss any signs and you did not rape her, because she misleaded you.

Sincerely I would suggest you to rethink about this relationship or if you think i am too harsh look for couple therapy. Because for me the signs she is giving is she is the kind of person that like to bring chaos, guilt- trips and test you to see how far she can mess with you speacially that seems like you are an empathetic person.

I hope I am wrong about her, but if your life start to be filled with chaos and feel all the time guilty, frustrated and sad, I will suggest you to look for help like a therapist to be able to leave this relationship.