SO [M23] fucked up really badly and now he's genuinely trying to be better but I [F20] feel emotionally unstable.

Honestly, it sounds like you need help in growing a better self image of yourself. I don't know if the best way to go about this is therapy or working out or what, but the underlying problem, to me, sounds like you have some personal issues you need to work out, and it probably includes your boyfriend but mostly you just need to realise you're worth something to him and this world and you aren't as terrible or worthless as you see yourself. That said, he was still wrong I'd say to do what he did, but if he's genuinely sorry about it, and doing everything he can to apologize, at some point you need to realise this and accept his apology, and forgive him or, realise you can't trust him any more and end it. Your feelings are your feelings, and they aren't any less valid than anyone else on this planet. We have feelings for a reason, its human instinct used to protect us from harm and danger. They aren't always right but the reason we have them is because they are there to protect us usually, and if you feel a certain way and cant move past it, you need to put yourself in a situation where you feel better so you arent constantly stressing over something bad possibly happening.

Honestly though, if you want to try and make it work, you need to talk to people better than us about improving your self image. I'd say talk to your boyfriend about your feelings. Explain that you see him trying and appreciate it, but you can't get over what he did and you either want help to get over it, or you need to move on. Talk to a counsellor, talk to a therapist, talk to a best friend, and figure out how you feel and if you can get over what he did or if what he did is unforgiveable to you, and he has lost your trust, but you need to figure that out and then move on. If he's lost your trust forever, your relationship is doomed in my opinion and to waste more time on it would be a sad thing for everyone.

/r/relationships Thread