To be honest, that really made me feel awful and hurt a lot. My biggest fear is that people start judging me for being sent to institution. It forever is like cattle brand on me now. People will dismiss anything I say simply because they think I'm nuts, and in the end I feel like I'm invisible and isolated. I feel like people don't justify my existence anymore and want me to die. I try to tell the truth, but I wish I never told anyone about it. It'd be better this way. I've been told by my parents I'm weird all my life, and although now i realise most people don't think this way, I still can't take any judgement easily and become depressed every time after.

I'll explain what happened.

The problem was, I've went on a fruitarian diet for 3 years. My weight dropped, but the problem was, all my life I've been very thin and tall (I'm 6'7", my weight is around 145 lbs). I have this unidentified condition which causes irritation in my sinuses, my allergist made a test and although she confirmed there's a whole lot of allergy-like irritation going on, all 20 standard allergy tests came as negative.

So I had a bookcase in my room full of my childhood books. My doctor told me I'd better avoid having a lot of paper around myself. One day my head was aching a lot. I decided I should get rid of the books once and for all. I I put them in plastic bags and went to throw them away.

Two hours after, three men enter my room and start asking me why I did that. They measure my weight and say that I was underrating and forcefully send me to an institution. What happens next is an awful story which still triggers me because in Russia, mental institutions are full of drug addicts, people who have just been out of jail, doctors who treat every person there like cattle, etc.

I refuse to talk to my parents. Doctor lets me know that if I don't, I'm stuck there forever. I break down and talk to them. They insist I should be cured. They don't want to hear me at all. They just sit and cry how could I do this to them and how noble it was of them to give me treatment.

Finally, I'm let out after a month. I'm forced to drink more pills and being taken to psychiatrists by my mother. I'm being told that she decided that I was going to kill myself. It turns out the source of my allergy-like reaction was an audio centre which has had so much dust inside it that my father was coughing all the time while taking it away. So, I was taken there for nothing. A doctor tried to persuade me my allergy was made up by me.

I refuse to take pills. Next thing I know, my parents lock me in my room and start shouting at me that I'm going to the institution again, I'm going nowhere, how it hurts them, etc. I stopped talking to them since that day.