SO (M40s) & I (F40s) Struggle with Sexual Communication - Any Advice?

I was deliberately being a bit vague as I lurk on here at other times under my main username but yes, we are married with children and are in it for the long haul. None of what happens between us is done with malice and I believe his intentions are good. He is very upset when I raise the issue with him outside of the bedroom and that makes him even more sensitive to criticism when we are in the middle of it. I would say he is very resistant to change in aspects of his life. Even when I move the furniture he takes ages to get used to it. He likes to do things his own way and I wonder whether he has OCD or is on the ASD spectrum sometimes. He suffers from anxiety and any sort of perceived criticism is taken very badly. He also avoids conflict so if he things something will lead to conflict or feelings of negativity he would rather avoid it than resolve it. I'm the opposite which leads to problems. I want to hash it out till it's fixed and then move on feeling better.

/r/sexover30 Thread Parent