Maam I Do My Own Plumbing

Oh, oh, pick me! I have one.

In my HS days, many moons (ok just under a decade ago) there was a particular girl I'd pass in the halls, but didn't know enough about her and certainly wasn't brave enough to approach her.

About 2 years later, she got a job where I worked - a fairly standard if not rapidly declining retail box.

I wasted no time getting acquainted with her, and it proved viable as we ended up working together many days, often with her working register and me bagging or vice versa, throughout the day.

Now, given that she was in college, she only worked a couple months at a time, left for a stretch and came back etc, generally Summer then come back during Holidays, work random weekends etc.

Then came the blunder that as of the end of X summer, I believe this was 2014, she would be going to get her doctorate or something that required her to live on campus. I would be rash to not mention through this saga, she had an off again-on again "boyfriend" which based on her recants, sounded more like a FWB kinda deal, but no matter.

One particular day, not more than a month out from the end of this saga, she comes into the break room exclaiming that she'd finally cut ties and in her own words "could finally have my turn"

So a week before she left, one of her friends (also a coworker) let me in on the idea that they were getting together, her and a bunch of her friends as a farewell deal, and that I should come by.

Brought this idea up to her, she said of course, why wouldn't you etc. Then not a half an hour before the dinner, around an hour following the store closing for the night, she said it was best that we "meet on our own" so we made plans to get food at a local Chinese restaurant not far from the store.

That night one of her friends was working at the pizzeria nearby, so for whatever reason she decided that was a better idea. Felt like the whole thing was a fluke, but I didn't have the guts to leave as I was nowhere near comfortable around women to take that kind of a stand, much less be in utter amazement of how I'd managed to get this far with someone I admired so much.

It was downpouring that night, and not living far from any of the establishments, took the route to walk home, she insisted on driving me and suggested we "spend some time alone in the car to make up for how things went" and we did, we talked outside my house for what felt like hours, shared music, etc but then I just left. Got out of my car and did nothing.

Its been over 6 years and I only recently just got over allowing that to happen. Nothing was ever the same again. She went off to college and I've only talked to her sporadically since then, and its quite clear she has no vested interest in reconnecting, something I've only recently come to terms with.

It was a hard one. Pedestal and all. She was the one I'd always dreamt about, spent years around trying to reach and when I was just a couple inches away, blew the whole thing.

Fin.

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