Maintains eye contact while lifting his paw...Savage.

Pedantic Reddit, where would we be without you.

To that point, if you want to play it safe, and keep your arms but maybe still want the monkey cum, stick to Bonobos. Their default response to any stress is to fuck. What a wonderful strain of DNA coping mechanism evolutionary biology.

Someone takes your banana? Fuck. Someone gets too close to your branch during a nap ? Suck their dick. Fight breaks out over a misunderstanding about a bird call 900 yards away? 69 with your sister.

Bonobos, the Lindsey Lohan of the simians.

Also, FYI, the techno artist Bonobo has nothing to do with the above, but definitely worth checking out. Especially if you're going to 69 with your sister due to stress.

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