"On a personal note, just knowing this is the type of content many men want, I feel like maybe I just don't want to have sex... or am incredibly leary. If this is mainstream and what many men want now, I will never be able to fulfill that, so why put myself in a position where I'll be a disappointment? "

The section quoted above is halfway-down, but it seems to be the basis of this post. You saw some porn and felt inadequate. I watch Michael Jordan dunk a basketball and feel a bit inadequate myself. But, I still play ball with my friends. In responding to you here, let me note that there's no foam in my mouth. Nor is my face red. And my teeth are non-gnashing. It's possible for a man to simply disagree with your point of view.

"(oh, it's natural; they all do it; I better not kink-shame anyone),"

That is what you're doing: kink-shaming. You saw some legal pornography that upset your personal sensibilities.

"Then I had a discussion with my very liberal, open-minded friend who justified it because the woman in the video agreed to it so that is technically consent."

Yes, that's what freedom's all about. A person is free to do things that upset your personal sense of morality and propriety. I too wonder sometimes about freedom. For instance, a woman's free to abort my child, and I can't do a damn thing about it. Freedom doesn't always bounce the way we want it to.

"Like what if the next kink (for men) is waterboarding? Is it possible to consent to that?"

This is a strawman. Waterboarding is extraneous and irrelevant to the discussion.