I am so sorry this happened to you. I hope you are doing better now. I've never actually told anyone this, but my now ex girlfriend raped me early in our relationship. We went to a mutual friends birthday party and long story short I got black out drunk. Our designated driver was driving us home and my ex told him to just take us to her house. Well needless to say she raped me in her bed while I was blacked out. I kind of remember some of it but I think my mind (and the alcohol) blocked it out. I only found out the whole story when one of her friends told me after we broke up. I didn't go through anything like you did/are. But I really hope you are feeling better man.