About 10 years ago I was known mostly for two things....the ability to sell cell phones to old Amish couples and the inability to stop drinking bourbon after one fifth.
One night about 22 of us were at my boss's house (let's just call him James since that's his name) and were celebrating my very big and hard earned promotion. Helping me celebrate, along w/ some friends, select co-workers and girlfriend(best friends with boss's wife) was my best friend at the time, Mr. Basil Hayden. I didn't know when to quit back then and would just drink until I blacked out, which was very bad since I never passed out but instead just blazed paths of unconscious destruction.
Well, wouldn't you know it but my Lewis & Clark ass did it again. I begrudgingly woke up to the sound of his wife screaming and the sound of house slippers quietly but firmly pounding the wood floor and quickly coming closer. James burst open the door to his guest room where I was un-sticking my face from a semi-dried puddle of bourbon and sausage/queso dip puke. "What the fucking fuck,  man!!"..."Are you fucking serious?".."This is fucking it!"... "We are leaving while you clean this up."..."Look how upset you made my wife!" 

As he was screaming at me, he led me to the kitchen and that's when I saw it. After finally being able to take my eyes off of his hot, crying wife I looked at the open dishwasher that James was pointing at. It then hit me. I knew I did something bad but as I got closer I saw the true extent of the carnage. I had decided to play 5 Fluids with his dishwasher. If you don't know, 5 Fluids was a game we played as a kids where if we were at somebody's house and they were being complete assholes or if we hated them then we would jerk off, piss, shit, puke and spit in a random appliance in the house. I looked in the dishwasher, filled w/ dishes and saw that it was worse than I imagined in the 6 second walk to the kitchen. Every single dish was COVERED in my excrement and other exciting bodily fluids. There was semen on her nice blue plates on the top section and puke, piss and shit all over the bottom section. I will never forget his wife's defeated sobs as she trudged out the door to her $50 a plate brunch.

Anyways...after stupidly turning the thing on, thanks to my hungover brain thinking it would clean it quicker, I cleaned it all up. James and his wife were upset for a good while but I didn't get fired for it or anything....I got fired for getting drunk at a fancy retreat in Scottsdale and playfully(but with the force that Lennie showed his poor puppy) slapping a very high up executive of a Fortune 500 company in the face at a swimming pool bar instead.

Note: Finally learned my lesson awhile back and quit drinking hard liquor since it obviously wasn't working out and haven't drunkenly blazed a path of destruction since.