See I used to split and have black & white thinking! But I realized through therapy that was also associated with my abusive relationship and toxic work environment. I also grew up in an abusive (or specifically narcissistically defended family system) and honestly was under emotional control of that system until about six months ago? And only really came to accept that and repressed memories around that time.

The diagnosis was helpful for me because it showed me inherent vulnerabilities I have and ways I can act when I am triggered but like I don't know if it is just being in remission to say "that is a way my brain can think if I allow myself to go back to a wounded place," or if it is a little bit sus since I came out of that in like... Five months of therapy and was diagnosed in a time of crisis.

When I hear about how people don't have experience responding well to medication it makes my brain go all sorts of places -- not sure if it is just the "best fit" since diagnosis is flawed, weird combination of transphobia and misogyny (I'm a trans guy), or poor clinical insight because I was in crisis. I'm not sure if my therapist knows yet either. We're both very surprised by how quickly I went into remission after getting out of the toxic work environment and abusive relationship.