Yeah, a friend of mine who is super career-oriented and independent had a short relationship with a guy like that. She told me about how amazing he was and so I Facebook stalked him and he looked like a psycho right away (same exact fake fucking smile with the same fucking lack of involvement of the eyes in every picture). Decided not to tell her because she was pretty much under his spell at this point and she would probably have cut contact if I had told her. Instead I decided to keep an eye on it. Ran into them one night and watched him do the same thing, trying to make himself bigger and me smaller, watched him stare whenever someone would draw attention away from him. Watched him whisper aggressively and her telling friends that he didn't like her talking to guys. She told me about his demands and ultimatums but kept making up excuses for him until he tried to forbid her from going to work. She was furious but he would probably have managed to suck her back in so I used the opportunity to remind her of all the crazy shit she had already rationalized away and it took her weeks to be able to accept how badly she had misjudged him and how naive she had been and it took a lot of talking it through for her to come to terms with it because she spent months entirely out of character and she had lost all her confidence in her ability to judge people and it was terrible to see her that way.

He then started stalking her to the point where she felt unsafe walking anywhere alone or even staying at her place alone.

I talked to him. I told her I would discuss it with him rationally and to this day that is what she believes happened. The reality is that I beat him badly and promised to kill him if he ever got near her again. The reality is that he is one of the few people who have seen me for who I am because he managed to find someone I care about and preyed on her. He saw me without the mask of civilization I wear for everyone else and deep down I hoped he would try me because I wanted to end his life but he didn't so he has probably moved on to another victim by now.