Thank you. It's so hard.

I remembered all of the good times a couple of days ago and couldn't see all of the bullshit for a while. I asked if she wanted to try it again for a bit while she's in good health to see if things are different. She said no.

Today has reminded me of all of the bullshit and I don't feel the urge to get back with her, but I do love her.

I think she does want to be chased, but maybe not by me anymore. When we first started dating, I mentioned that I'm not into games or chasing anyone, that if she wanted to be with me, she would be. She sounded offended that I said I wouldn't chase her.

She's said she's not interested in sex with me at this point since we aren't married anymore (as of about 2-3 weeks ago). The trouble is, we're still living under the same roof for at least another month and sharing the same bed. I feel so much pent up sexual tension, anger, and sadness over all of this that I feel like I'm going to burst.

Just tonight, she got up to pee after we talked in bed for a bit and made a comment about how she "thinks she broke her vagina" on her way out the door. I asked what she meant when she came back to clarify. She said nevermind. I asked her to do me a favor and not mention her newly found libido after it has been nearly nonexistent over the last almost 6 years. It upset me enough that I'm still awake at 5:30AM.

Things are done and I see zero chance of us getting back together.

I've never been anything but loyal, honest, devoted, loving, and caring to her. We've had lots of great times, but also lots of fighting, arguing, and being left feeling dissatisfied. We acknowledge we aren't a good fit, but this transition is still difficult at this point for me.

Thank your for commenting.