So I'd like to respond to this in a slightly different way, because the person that you (the op) has described is basically me. It is almost so accurate that at first I thought you might have actually been talking about me as I use the exact same lies for the gym, owning a car and owning my own place.

English isn't my first language so I'm sorry if it seems messy.

So I'm not going to give you advice. I'm not going to tell you what you should do or how you should deal with it. Instead, I'm going to explain you why I do it and I can say with somewhat certainty that your husband did it for similar if not the exact same reasons.

Here is the uncomfortable truth that a lot of people, especially women, don't want to acknowledge: Present day dating and relationships suck for men. The simple fact of the matter is that at any given time, when it comes to the affection and interest of women, Men are competing with significantly more other men than women are competing with other women. A woman will be approached by significantly more men than man are by women. A woman can get on tinder and nearly regardless of looks, will get hundreds upon hundreds of matches. Same thing with dating sites. Make a profile there and just watch the inbox fill up with messages. Because women have much more and much more easily access to a large number of men, the actual demands/requirement that women have placed on men to become boyfriend/relationship material has increased substantially and men are well aware of this.

Its not good enough to be kind or proper gentlemen. Nowadays it is expected for men to look good, work hard, be self sufficient, mature, be ambitious and have a career. Men simply don't have these expectation of women. Here are the expectations most men have of their female partner: Be pretty and be nice . Thats it. Most men don't care if you have a car, a career, an apartment or how ambitious you are.

I mean lets role reverse for a bit. I can promise you that if the roles were reversed and you've lied about these kind of things and come clean to him...He wouldn't care. At all. In fact, role reversal is almost unthinkable because you wouldn't have to lie about these things to seem more interesting in the first place because as a woman, you don't have to live up to those expectations. Men do.

So why do we lie about it? Because people like me feel like we can't compete. I currently lie about the amount of times I go to the gym, I lie about driving a car ( I dont even have a drivers license because yes, public transport is that good) and I also haven't owned my own place.

When I tell her I'm going to the gym more often than I am, I'm not saying that to make me seem more interesting. What I'm trying to tell her is "Look, I'm investing in myself, even if you don't think im worthy now, I will be later".

When I tell her I own a car or have my own place, I don't do that to make me seem "cool", its to let her know that I yes I fufill your self sufficient and responsibility requirements. I do this because if I don't, I will be replaced with one of the many, many other options women have at any given time and yes, this is based on experience.

So what does it come down to? Fake it till you make it. For many people, including myself, thats the only way we can ever hope of being in a relationship and eventually marriage. I don't want it to be that way but if the choice is between being lonely and having to fake it, I'm going with faking it.